“You ever feel alone in a crowd?”
Don’t start.
“Like everyone else knows what’s happening and you don’t?”
I got, like, 90 pictures of you from the Phish show. If you’re going to be weird, it’s going to be a long night.
“Did you ever feel like a plastic bag?”
What?
“Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?”
I’m begging you not to be weird tonight.
“Do you like my unicorn costume?”
More of a hoodie than a costume, but it’s okay.
“God, I’m looking forward to washing it.”
…
Hey. Jackass?
“Me?”
No, Scuba Steve behind you.
“Don’t call me jackass.”
Then stop being one. You are a unicorn, not a jackass.
“A sexy unicorn.”
A unicorn. And y’know what? I’m under a lot of pressure right now. Everyone saw these pictures and said to themselves, “Oh, I bet TotD will have some quality japery to accompany these shots,” and right now? Right now, buddy? I got nothing.
“You’re clearly throwing dialogue into a void hoping something will spark an idea.”
I know, right? Everyone can see it, and I want to kill it for all the nice Enthusiasts, but this has to be a team effort. Stop moping around.
“What if I met some randos?”
Great. You do that. I’m gonna drink too much coffee and stall for time with a picture of Bobby in short shorts.
“Good plan. All hands in?
Absolutely not.
“Break!”
you had me at “I’m looking forward to washing it.”
Admit I came here for this exact japery.
Also: gibes.
It feels like x’mas eve up in here when you only get to open one present and have to wait for morning for the main event…
I got my popcorn ready
It’s because you’re starting to like him more, you realize that, right?
He’s a slowly and intentionally acquired taste.