Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Cold Sweat

Elvis went nuts, and so did Michael Jackson. In her own low-key, tasteful way, Barbra Streisand might be crazier than entire lunatic asylums. But no one–no one at all–went bull goose starkers like James Brown did.

This is not, Enthusiasts, a legendary and historic performance; it’s just a 1980’s night in New York, but it has its charms. What, you ask?

  • The robot from Rocky IV introduces the set.
  • The band plays for 20 minutes before James decides to show up.
  • Holy shit, is he high.
  • I would say “high as a kite,” but kites honestly do not fly all that high.
  • Maybe if you brought a kite to the International Space Station, then James Brown would be as high as that kite.
  • James Brown: Hardest Working Man in Show Biz.
  • James Brown’s corset: Hardest Working Support Garment in Show Biz.
  • Are…are…are they playing the Entertainment Tonight theme song?
  • Jeff “Skunk” Baxter on guitar, for some reason.
  • The band is literally wearing Sexual Chocolate’s tuxedos.
  • The most half-assed “Put the cape on the Godfather and then he comes back” routine you’ve ever seen.
  • And–tell me if I’m lying, I dare you–James Brown is so high he cannot open his eyes the entire show.
  • So much fucking Jheri Curl.

7 Comments

  1. SpamJam

    A young man that you all know as Joe the Policeman from the What’s Goin’ Down Episode of That’s My Mama

  2. ReadingDoonesbury

    Maceo.

  3. ritchie vanian

    I met James Brown about 1985. It was everything you would expect it would be.

  4. ste4ve

    I can’t believe everyone is sitting down.

  5. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    James Brown on … keyboards!!!

  6. Luther Von Baconson

    4 ft of Dynamite

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWL2tdNfQ6A

  7. Carlos

    I would recommend to you’se enthusiasts. The July 5,1981 live at montreaux DVD by eagle vision. Chantez Avec moi, James Brown! The man with THE moves.

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