- Planes have had it with 2016 just as much as the people, and have begun suiciding.
- Radical Islamic Terrorism, which Hillary Clinton will not even say.
- The plane in Chicago was blown up by the thing that William Shatner saw on the wing; the one in Fort Lauderdale by the thing John Lithgow saw on the wing.
- Both aircraft nodded off with a lit cigarette in their ailerons.
- Burn it down and start again, man!
- Insurance scam.