- Puma deliberately released into women’s bathroom at arena.
- A former and future porn star called Hitler “inspiring.”
- Candidate’s daughter Snapchatted her speech to only 79 likes.
- A senator appeared in blackface.
- The keynote speaker, a Baptist minister, ended his speech by viciously penetrating a watermelon with a Hillary Clinton mask on. (First he was wearing the mask, and then he placed it on the watermelon.)
- A game show host called Bill Clinton an “illegal.”
- Two Real Housewives engaged in a catfight onstage while a neurosurgeon with a visible hard-on watched.
- Benediction contained the phrase “Lord, please strike that no-good bitch down.”
- Norovirus outbreak.
- Temple of the Dog reunited.
- Owner of a sports franchise described in detail his cunnilingus technique.
- Delegates from Wyoming ate the delegates from Iowa.
- Big city sheriff accused Black Lives Matter as being “the Detroit chapter of the Nazi Party” and received a standing ovation.
- Random Teamster allowed to speak on the topic of Puerto Ricans and their laziness.
- The reanimated corpse of a Benghazi rampaged through the hall.
- Candidate’s son shot the puma that had been released into the women’s bathroom of the arena.
.
.
Sorry….
that poor elephant, wash your trunk buddy.
Highlight:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2016/07/19/norovirus-strikes-the-republican-national-convention/
Wow.
makes sense, cruise ship democracy.
My Wild Night with the RNC’s Openly Gay Underground. Wait, Did I Say ‘Wild’? I Meant HORRIBLE.
http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2016/07/20/24367015/a-diary-of-a-no-good-very-bad-terrible-night-at-the-rncs-gay-parties