Boncologist Humping not up to snuff? Might need to make an appointment with the boncologist.
Noncologist This is a French doctor, and when you ask him for a prescription, he says, “Non!” And then you’re like, “Well, are you even gonna listen to my chest?” And, once again, he says “Non!” Not really the best use of your time seeing this dude, to be honest.
Goncologist Gonk. Gonk gonk. Gonk. (Yeah, it’s a Star Wars joke. Don’t you fucking judge me; I have cancer.)
Groncologist It’s Gronk. He’s wearing a doctor’s coat with no shirt underneath. You tell him that your leg hurts, and he makes you chug three Monster energy drinks. His enormous brothers keep wandering in and out of the exam room. There are a lot of HIPAA violations.
Davevanroncologist His office is on MacDougall Street. Not a lot of patients.
Concologist If you are a black person from the 1940’s who fucks up your head straightening your hair, then you need to go to the concologist.
Honcologist Clowns who want nose jobs see the honcologist.
Stop this. There’s no idea here, nor any actual jokes.
That’s never stopped me before.
True, but now it’s depressing. You’re the diseased one. Why does everyone else have to suffer?
…
Please don’t call me “diseased.”
That was probably over the line. I’m gonna take that back.
Appreciate it.
Let’s just call this one, huh?
Seems like the right thing to do.
Bonocologist. Because someone has ‘toupee’ the bills for all of The Edge’s effects and hats. those irish stadium fillers are so very bald. U2 may be soon, Mr. OTD, but it’ll grow back and you’ll be fine. Hang in there.
So long as you can keep clear of the badonkadonkologist, everything will be cool.
Sir, you have been my source of joy and frivolity for the last 7 years. Do I know you? No. But I love you like a brother. I had a tumor removed in late April, from my skull. YOU CAN DO THIS. Be strong, and do what YOU need to stay healthy and sane. If it’s continuing this, great. If it’s taking a break, do that. (Bro hug).
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uHpCarz6OgQ
Never miss a Sunday show
Badunkadunkologist
Some booty for what ails you.
Cronkologist – Kindly, grandfatherly man with a kindly, grandfatherly mustache. May not know a lot about medicine, but will reassure you with awestruck accounts of the moon landing & stern lectures about the folly of the war in Vietnam.
Sending all the best vibes, ToTD. I realize vibes along aren’t enough – but I hope they help a bit.
Zonkologist.
Can’t sleep, man. Need schmedibles.