Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane

blimpThe blimp floated in what was close enough to a circle. There was a loop going, if a poky one. The giant LED screen showed some bears, because that is the law; and they showed the Stealie with the 50 on it, because that is how branding works; and they ran lyrics from Dead songs.

There was the one above, from a song the Dead forgot to play that Trampoline would have utterly slaughtered, and also “Nothing left to do…” and prehaps some others. There were, of course, many other things considered to be broadcast.

Rejected Lines for the Blimp Display:

  • “Bigger than a drive-in movie, oo-wee.”
  • “We ball all night.”
  • “Ice Cube’s a pimp.”
  • “Picasso moon, fractal flame.”
  • “This is the blimp pilot, and I’m drunk.”
  • “I didn’t grow up wanting to fly a blimp.”
  • “I wanted to fly jets like my brother Reagan.”
  • “He was my hero.”
  • “But I have the eyesight of a star-nosed mole.”
  • “Look them up; they’re fascinating.”
  • “So the best I could do was blimps.”
  • “It’s still flying, right?”
  • “Reagan didn’t think so.”
  • “He called me the Blimp Wimp.”
  • “That’s not right to do to a person.”
  • “I’m a man.”
  • “And I have a blimp.”
  • “Watch me crash it into you.”
  • “HEY, GET OFF ME.”
  • “You can’t touch me, I’m the Blimp Captain.”
  • “Yay, Grateful Dead.”
  • “I need authorities to meet me at the Blimpport.”


  1. Star-nosed moles are arguably more terrifying than turtle penises even though their name is really cute

  2. “Look at me: I am a Grateful Dead now,” wrote that Benjy fucker, John Mayer, and Trumbull Armadillo as they hastily stole a blimp

    ??????¿¿!? No?

  3. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    July 14, 2015 at 10:58 am

    “oh, the Hugh Manatee!”

  4. That’s the kind of font someone would use to write something like “TOTD HAS A REALLY SMALL DICK” or something and fly it over a really prestigious event that ToTD would be attending I am not wrong so don’t even deny it

  5. Black Sunday- watch it tonight on Netflix

  6. I read the book as a teenager- it was first time I’d ever encountered the word ‘nacelle’.

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