Program Listings For SiriusXM Channel 88: Alt-Right Radio

6:00 – 10:00 a.m.  Morning Zoo Krew with Keithy and the Douchelord Four hours of fun, speculation about the vaginal tightness of various celebrities, and the Krew’s patented prank calls. Last week, they phoned up a synagogue and, affecting an Arabic accent, told the women who picked up that they were going to come over and rape her to death. The woman, a 76-year-old volunteer named Rona Talesnick, began crying and that’s where the laughs really started. There’s also regular bits such as Libcucks Getting BTFO, an updated version of Dialing For Dollars called Texting For Tiki Torches, and The Alt-Right Dating Game, in which the opening question is always “Bachelor Number One, if I were a Jew, what would you do to me?” and the answer is always what you think it is.

10:00 a.m. – noon Laura Ingraham Screams At Her Maid A ratings favorite, LASAHM is two commercial-free hours of Laura Ingraham berating her housekeeper for the failings of the Obama administration and also for stealing jewelry which Laura inevitably finds halfway through the program.

Noon – 3:00 p.m. An Unidentified Voice Reads Out Democratic Lawmakers’ Home Addresses Sponsored by Papa John’s.

3:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. Steve Bannon’s Rumburps Breitbart editor-in-chief Steve Bannon broadcasts live from Breitbart HQ in Washington, DC. The show is free-form, the schedule being set by the liquor, and Bannon will often speak with guests such Roy Moore, Ted Nugent, and Milo Milo Yiannopoulos to discuss the Left’s perversions and moral degeneracy. Bannon prefers theme days, so the week runs from Filthy Muslim Monday to Plausibly Deniable Anti-Semitism Friday.

6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. Hannity and Colmes’ Corpse Sean Hannity debates the issues of the day with the exhumed body of his former partner; Colmes puts up just as good a fight as he did when he was alive.

8:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m. Reliable Negro Radio Alternating hosts (Thomas Sowell, David Clarke, the cop who pulls Cuba Gooding Jr. over in Boyz in the Hood) talk about the day’s events and find a way to blame black people for every one of them.

10:00 p.m. – midnight Gun Talk with Rod Machinist Topics this week: “Obama: Still Trying to Take our Guns?”, “The Right Pistol for Going to Walmart,” and “Masturbating to the Second Amendment.”

Midnight – 3:00 a.m. Julian Assange Live From His Room The Wikileaks founder broadcasts nightly from his bedroom within the Ecuadoran embassy, where he conducts long and thorough interviews with his furniture and a pile of dirty clothes in the corner he has named Kurt. There is occasional crying and/or audible self-pleasure. Julian has also fallen in love with a 1982 video clip of Jack Ritter on the Merv Griffin Show.

3:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m. Russia Today Simulcast