A-well, a-well, a-well uh-huh. Tell me more.
“Stop it.”
Tell me more, how much dough did he spend? A-well, a-well–
“Knock it off! I am fashion forward.”
A little too far forward. I don’t know if the world’s ready for your swag.
“Dude, we don’t say swag anymore.”
No? What do we say?
“Vaporwaaaaaaave.”
I don’t wanna say that.
“And you have to do the hand thing. Like you’re smoothing out sheets. Vaporwaaaaaave.”
That means “cool” now?
“Kind of. It’s like when you’re so extra you circle back to basic.”
John? Buddy? You should get yourself a family.
“But then I wouldn’t have all day to Instagram my online shopping.”
Right. Exactly. You need less free time. Dude, is that your dick?
“What? Oh. No, it’s just a shadow.”
The shadow of your dick. Put your fucking dick away, Song Remains The Same.
“That film was just three hours of Robert Plant’s cock.”
This is what I’m saying. And it’s no longer appropriate. Tuck yourself away.
“Stop looking at my crotch!”
I can’t look higher or lower! I can’t look at your jacket, and I won’t give your shoes the satisfaction of my gaze.
“They’re shouty.”
Go find a soup kitchen and work there.
“Do you do that?”
Oh, God, no. I’m far too selfish and lazy.
“So why are you yelling at me?”
Hypocrisy.
“I’ll say.”
Rizzo’s got a bun in the oven!
“Fuck off.”
wow. that is a horrifying look.
I guess you have guessed it by now? In between tours, John has been moonlighting as a fashion model.
The Andy Williams Flap
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhJHBVPytdk
John needs someone he can turn to before he leaves the house and ask..
“Does this outfit look like I am taking my dick out for a walk” ?