Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: mickey hart (Page 15 of 71)

Grateful Deads Prefer Blondes

February 7, 2017 / / 3 Comments

You look very nice.

“Thank you, I had a thorough polishing before the show.”

I’m not talking to you, Red Metal Stool.

“The lady?”

Yeah.

“Y’know, she sat on me before.”

Stop this.

“Nice.”

Knock it off.

“I couldn’t breathe, but I liked it.”

Ew. You looking forward to Summer Tour?

“Gotta be better than the Mexican debacle.”

Yeah, bad luck. You weren’t, um, in the splash zone?

“I was fine. Can’t say the same for my cousin.”

Your cousin?

“White Porcelain Toilet.”

We’re done.

“He’s in therapy.”

I said we’re done.

Muddled Huddle

January 25, 2017 / / 0 Comments

Here’s what Bobby’s thinking: These two? Not the other two? These two I’m stuck with for the rest of my life?

OR

“Where’s that redhead go?”

“I dunno, Bill.”

“Could we fly some indigenous peoples in?”

“Why, Mickey?”

“To drum on.”

“Ask me later.”

“Aw, c’mon. That always means no.”

“Knock it off, Mick.”

“Who died and made you Garcia?”

“Garcia.”

“Oh, right.”

I’m Ready For My Spotlight, Ms. Brightman*

January 24, 2017 / / 1 Comment

“Yes. Yeeeeees. Love Mickey, people. Love Mickey.”

You all right, Mick?

“I’m just so excited about the new movie.”

Okay.

“And the partnership we’ve built with Chase Sapphire®. There’s no introductory fee, and the first year is free!”

Awesome. You see the movie?

“Parts of it.”

Parts of it?

“I didn’t watch the very beginning, and then I watched for an hour, and then I stopped watching for a while, and then I watched the rest.”

…

You just watched the parts when you were in the band?

“It’s just weird seeing a band with one drummer. Who does that?”

Everyone. Literally every other band except the Allman Brothers.

“Allmans are here?”

No, Gregg couldn’t make it. He’s either dying or playing a casino in Kansas.

“What’s the difference?”

None at all.

 

*I just realized that the person who did the Dead’s lights is named “Brightman.” We’re living in a novel written by a hack.

Phil Looks Great

January 24, 2017 / / 3 Comments

The Core Four is back, Enthusiasts.

OR

When Bobby was a young man, his parents were murdered by a camera in a mugging outside a movie theater; this explains why he looks at them this way now.

OR

“Thoughts on my Ass!”

Hey, Billy.

“Skaaaaaaaaank.”

Stop that. She looks lovely and respectable.

“This is a film festival. No one here is respectable.”

Yeah, okay.

“Ginger skank.”

Stop it.

“Great thing about redheads is that you can bring ’em around your color-blind friends and they don’t get hit on.”

Color-blind people can see redheads, Billy.

“Not from my experience. Weir’s cockblocking me here a little, though.”

Don’t hit on her.

“She got chest freckles, man.”

Still.

“Gonna give her a log flume.”

…

“Gonna give her a log flume.”

…

“Gonna give–”

What’s a log flume, Billy?

“Everything’s real gentle at first, and then I go down without warning.”

We’re done.

“Winter of Skank!”

Dammit.

New, New Minglewoody Blues

January 23, 2017 / / 1 Comment

Bobby.

“Hey. Have, uh, you met Woody Harrelson?”

Hey, Woody. How are you?

“I’m just here to talk about Rampart.”

Great. Bob?

“Yeah?”

Weren’t you just wearing shoes?

“My body rejected them.”

Sure.

“Like a baboon liver”

Gotcha.

“Knees swole up, eyes started watering, armpits got confused.”

Sounds bad.

“Luckily, my wife–”

Natasha Monster.

“–always carries a pair of emergency sandals in her purse. She’s like a Boy Scout, but a girl.”

Those are called Girl Scouts, Bobby.

“That would explain why she keeps trying to sell me cookies.”

Bobby, focus. Why is Woody Harrelson singing?

“Something fun for the kids.”

This is dangerously close to a Johnny Depp jam session. Don’t be that Rock Star.

“You bet.”

Having fun at Sundance?

“Sure. Whole family came out.”

The whole family?”

“WE DEMAND VEGAN POPCORN AT THE SCREENING!”

“Yup. Whole family”

Hey, Lilian Monster.

“WE DEMAND ROBERT REDFORD BE MADE FROM PLEATHER!”

“Yup. Whole family.”

Crosby, Hussain, And Hart (Doesn’t Have The Same Ring To It, Does It?)

January 19, 2017 / / 2 Comments

Hey, Croz.

“Hey, man.”

Say “dia-BEE-tus.”

“No.”

Come on.

“Knock it off.”

What’s Mickey wearing?

“The material is called brocade.”

How do you pronounce that?

“Rhymes with ‘Joe Fade.'”

Is Joe Fade a pool player you used to know?

“Yes.”

You are interesting as fuck, Croz.

“True.”

Say “dia-BEE-tus.”

“Fuck off.”

You Don’t Wanna Go Raga

January 6, 2017 / / 8 Comments

Okay, Enthusiasts, we have some answers. Not all, but some.

This picture that I posted yesterday is indeed Graceland: this is in the backyard where Elvis, his stillborn twin Jesse, and their parents are buried. The date is 4/3/95; the Dead had shows at The Pyramid in Memphis on the 1st and 2nd of April, and took the day to go to Graceland before truckin’ up to Birmingham.

Graceland?

Graceland. Memphis, Tennessee.

Was Garcia’s traveling partner nine years old, and a child of his first marriage?

No. He took the drummers.

Not as poetic.

Not nearly. A poster on Dead.net says this:

Billy’s all the way on the left of the pic, and Mickey is in the yellow non-Dead shirt next to Garcia. (Mickey tried the Merch Yoink at the Graceland gift shop and was tackled by four Elvis impersonators.) And that might be Bobby behind the column. It also might not be.

Whether or not the band sang Heartbreak Hotel in three-part harmony is unknown.

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