Why are you being so stand-offish? Get in there, fucker. That’s your Bobby.
“I’m being appropriate.”
Fuck that. That man saved your career.
You get in his sweaty nook. Nuzzle in, douchewad.
“This is fine.”
“Good. The usual.”
What does that mean?
“He keeps yelling WOO! and asking if we could play Three Lock Box.”
3LB is a slapper, Josh.
“Don’t call me that. We’re not doing Three Lock Box.”
What about There’s Only One Way to Rock?
“I don’t know that one.”
You could figure it out. We’re not talking about The Black Page.
“Bob and Sam are coming out for one number. Fire on the Mountain. That’s it”
Did Sammy bring any rum?
“Like, five cases worth. Sammy Hagar is like a Boy Scout, but for partying.”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
CELL PHONE NOISE
“Dude, we were getting along so well.”
I know. But this is how the bit works.
“Such a hack.
“You’re on with John.”
“Son, this is the President.”
“Oh. Hey, Mr. President. I’m just glad you’re not Miles Davis.”
“Nasty business, that man. Fabulous horn player, no one would deny that, but as a man he’s trouble. As a man. And he is, from my experience, the type of man that riles up others, uh, of his kind. His fellows. They see his attitude, and they mimic him. I’ve told Hoover to look into him several times, but Hoover says that his agents are scared of him. Heavily-armed and unreasonable, they report.”
“That is an accurate report on Miles Davis, sure.”
“He’s not like Sam. Sam Davis, Jr. There’s a negro that should be looked up to by any young man, whatever the color.”
“Friendly, hard-working, can take a joke. It’s not always about race with him. And his pronunciation! My God, you would think you were talking to a Princetonian, for all that’s worth. On the phone, you cannot tell. You simply cannot tell.”
“Mr. President, please stop discussing race relations. Why are you in a hard hat?”
“Meeting with the Teamsters. Many people have, uh, forgotten just how mobbed-up I was.”
“I just assumed.”
“You want to keep your hands clean, go into the priesthood. Politics is for men, son.”
“But we’re a nation of laws.”
“Written by men. The laws were written by men. Remember that, and you’re halfway home before you begin.”