Hey, Bill Walton. Whatcha doing?

“Greetings and salutations, my lexiconical chum! I’m here in Colorado having the time of my life watching Dead & Company, and hanging out with the greatest fanbase in the world, the Deadheads. Great googly moogly, I wish everyone on earth could be here. Although if they were, tickets would be much harder to get.”

I’m sure you could get in.

“No doubt. I’ve become great friends with the band over the years, except for Jeff Chimenti.”

Why not Jeff?

“He knows what he did.”

You’re very easy to find in crowds, you know.

“It’s because of my length! I’m about a foot longer than most humans.”

Taller. You’re taller than most people.

“No, I measure myself by laying down and getting out the ol’ tape measure.”


“Coach Wooden said so.”