Hey, Nephew on the Dead. Good visit, buddy.
“It was great catching up.”
Really?
“I pretty much had no idea who you were the entire weekend. You seemed nice. You didn’t drop me even once, which was a real plus for you.”
I was trying hard.
“And you succeeded. A-plus work, Uncle.”
You got a hat.
“I do. People love putting hats on me, and I gotta tell ya: I fucking hate it.”
Why?
“How do you like it when people put shit on your head without your permission?”
Didn’t think of it that way.
“I know I’m pre-verbal, but I am actually a human being. I get I have to wear pants, but the headgear seems extraneous.”
Well, we were going out in the sun. You inherited your coloring from Dad’s side of the family.
“Yeah, I’m like transparent.”
It’s not gonna get any better. You will never, ever, ever get a tan. You will be alabaster, or you will be crimson. No in between. So, you know: gotta cover up.
“How about a cowboy hat?”
It’s a bit much.
“Giant sombrero?”
Wouldn’t fit in the stroller.
“Are you kidding me? My stroller’s the size of a Sherman tank. Mom and Dad had to buy a bigger car.”
It is enormous, but still: no giant sombrero.
“Baby-sized sunglasses?”
You would fling those off your skull within seconds.
“I totally would. I was fucking with you. They’d be on the ground instantly.”
Right. Hey, speaking of which: why is it that you’re constantly trying to kill and/or injure yourself?
“The thing where I attempt to fling myself out of your grasp via full-body spasm?”
Yeah.
“I think it’s funny. You should see the look on your face.”
It’s not funny.
“Well, again: I’m pre-verbal. My sense of humor is entirely slapstick-based.”
That does make sense. Love you, buddy.
“And I love you, whoever the hell you are.”
Happy for you guys Thoughts, had the larger model nephew through here this
weekend also it was a blast!