Listen, this is an aside that has nothing whatsoever to do with the Grateful Dead, so feel free to skip over this post; I won’t be hurt. here goes:
Getting up to pee in the middle of the night is something that comes with getting older. I’m used to it; it doesn’t bother me.
Getting up to poop in the middle of the night is AN ABOMINATION.
Who can I file a complaint with? The Hague? Syrian Electronic Army? The line must be drawn here, no further.
This could be serious. I would advise you to get to the nearest Mexican consulate as quickly as possible and request anal asylum.