Even if you get laid tonight, this will still be the best minute and thirty-four seconds you spend today. It will certainly be the bendiest:
HOW GOOD WAS THAT?
Also: Roy Head.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
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That was awesome AND I got laid.
On my bed. I am sleepy
YOU FOOLED ME I WAS FOOLED
*sunglasses face emoji*