Enthusiasts with non-goldfish memories will recall that What’s Become of the Dead promised that tickets to the MSG show(s) would be set to two price-points: fifty bucks for the nose-bleeds, hundred for the folding chairs. This, as expected, turned out to be a Show Biz Promise, and not worth the cocaine it was spelled out on a groupie’s boobs with.
Above, you can see that a few Official Platinum Seats still remain available at the low, low price of $575. (Before charges. With Ticketmaster charges, the tickets are $1,125.)
Thank God for me, Enthusiasts, because only through this website can you access the secret, ultra-exclusive seats and ticket packages. With only a $799 cash fee upfront, you can become eligible to sit in any of the following sections:
Latinum Seats are just as good as platinum, but you will have to negotiate the price with a Ferengi.
Catinum Seats are full of sand and you can take a shit during Terrapin if you want. Ushers will bring complimentary saucers of creamy milk during setbreak, and there will be sunbeams.
Kattinum Seats come with a pre-show dinner with TV’s William Katt from The Greatest American Hero. For an extra thousand, he will wear the suit.
Fatinum Seats are double-wide and reinforced and if you need one, then you need one. But, you know: you shouldn’t need one.
Byzantium Seats are unbelievably complicated to get to.
John Mayer’s Van These seats are in John Mayer’s van. There’s a whole entertainment center and big-screen in there, and he threw a ridiculous sound system in, so you’re kind of set. Also: private bathroom and a place to nap and if the show sucks, you can drive over to see Phil’s band.
http://cdn.themis-media.com/media/global/images/library/deriv/734/734045.jpg
I loved Greatest American Hero
when i’m not walkin’ on sunshine, i can be found walkin’ on air
This is your brain on TicketBastard.
BTW, who is that collaring Andre the Giant.
http://www.npr.org/assets/img/2013/12/23/marshmellow.gif
William Katt the star of great American hero
https://youtu.be/e9Q3orQhEcA
Never saw that one. But I spy that Robert Culp is in it so can’t be all bad.
Hey TotD, I need your help. I’m having trouble with controlling the brightness on my phone? Also I can’t figure out how to set my internet so that it will stay on for a while. It turns on and off every time I press this circular button at the bottom of my phone? What does this button do?
SHUT UP I HATE U U R NOT FUNNY
Settle down senpai
Question about Catinum..
Last Catinum seating I purchased had a flock of sparrows released into the arena. Will there be a flock of sparrows.
Thanks,
We cannot guarantee sparrows, but there will be birds or small lizards available to our Catinum guests.
Follow up question..
Is Fat-Catinum an option ?
http://drpinna.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/fat-cat1.jpg
It is not.
Finally, a witty commenter! Tor make me laugh like ToTD make me laugh.
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lololol jk jk I agree man Tor is swag as fuck
But nobody beats the master. “You can take a shit during Terrapin” is a gift that keeps giving. I’m SCREEEEMNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody stop screaming. It’s late.
YES WE WOULD NOT BE HERE UNLESS IT WAS FOR TOTD
http://unaccomplishedangler.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Oldmanshakefist.jpg
You UNGRATEFUL whipper snappers! @#$ I’ll show you witty
Get off my lawn!
http://img00.deviantart.net/201a/i/2006/278/7/3/dancing_hippies_by_daniluco.jpg
How the hell did Spencer and Maggie get on my lawn!? Release the hounds.
5. Istanbul not Constantinople
Mayer dropped 500K on a douchetruck, not a van.
#bless
If Jerry was alive, they would have fat-catinum seating..
friggin moneygrab.
And persian-catinum, for those who just want to get away from it all, but still feel the jams.
http://petupon.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/TC640x531.jpg