Hey, Holly Bowling. Whatcha laughing at?
“My hat just said the funniest thing.”
You two have a very close relationship.
“My hat is my Chewbacca.”
Great analogy. How’s it going with Ghost Light?
“Awesome. We have a whole bunch of gigs this summer. Hitting the festival circuit.”
Say hi to Woody Hayes for me.
“Oh, he’s a sweetheart when he stops soloing. The one you gotta watch out for is Chris Robinson. Luckily, you can smell him coming.”
What does Chris Robinson smell like?
“Exactly the aroma you’d imagine, but times ten. And there’s a citrus top-note.”
Fascinating.
CELL PHONE NOISE
“Is that for me?”
It is.
“Is it someone terrible who’s gonna say terrible things, terribly?”
Yeah.
“I hate you and your little hobby.”
Me, too.
…
“Get jolly with Holly.”
“Hey, Asparagus Fingers.”
“Who is this?”
“Is Kim Jong-Un. Want hire Holly Bowling. Got job.”
“No. I’m not working for North Korea.”
“Only Korea.”
“It’s wrong and I’m pretty positive that it’s illegal.”
“Is no illegal if cops no see.”
“That’s not how treason works.”
“Treason such ugly word. Is job. You no capitalist, Asparagus Fingers?”
“Why are you calling me that?”
“Fingers long like asparagus. Freaky fingers. No have fingers like that in Only Korea.”
“Please stop.”
“Make Kim Jong-Un feel tense. In good way.”
“Ew.”
“You stick finger up Kim Jong-Un butt, massage nipple from inside.”
“That’s not how the human body works. And: ew.”
“I hire Holly Bowling. Very good money. Big money. Definitely not counterfeit money.”
“No.”
“Is job only you can do.”
“What?”
“Scientists invent Hat Bomb. You sneak into White House.”
“Hanging up now.”
“You have Tom Hamilton number?”
DIAL TONE NOISE EVEN THOUGH PHONES NO LONGER DO THAT
“Leave me out of your downward spiral.”
Maybe.
There are inside jokes in her transcriptions. Some of them are really hilarious, too.
♫Everyday, I think of Holly Bowling’s cap…or hat
She increases her caps or hats by exactly one…..
C F C F
Take Holly Bowling bowling, take her bowling♫
G F C
G7 you want to get all fancy