Perry, Ye*

“Name a, uh, more iconic duo.”

There’s gotta be someone. Abbot & Costello?

“Nope.”

Martin & Lewis?

“Ain’t got nothing on me and Jane here.”

What about Hope and Crosby?

“What about ’em? I’m telling you, man: we’re the tops.”

“THIS IS FAKE NEWS. I AM THE GREATEST DUO OF ALL TIME!”

“Hey, Ye.”

“I LOVE YOU, HAIRY GARCIA, BUT YOU CAN’T BULLY MY FEELINGS. I AM THE GREATEST DUO AND ALSO THIS IS LITTLE SOMETHING.”

“Howdy.”

“YOU WILL JOIN US AS A CAN OF COORS BANQUET.”

“I have some shows lined up, Ye. Can’t do it, pal.”

“PLEASE HELP ME REPEAL THE THIRD AMENDMENT! I WANT MORE BRITISH SOLDIERS IN MY HOUSE!”

“Son, I’m mostly what you’d call ‘new age’ in my beliefs on mental health, but I think the pills might work for you.

“I WANT TO DRINK MYSELF!”

“Huh.”

*That is fucking GOLD, people.