“Thoughts on my Ass! Been a while!”
Hey, Billy.
“My buddy’s hat makes him look like a penis.”
You haven’t changed.
“Too late for that, Ass. And I don’t wanna change. I’m fun.”
No New Year’s Resolutions, then?
“Nah, I make a ton of them. This year, I resolved to get paid even more for doing even less.”
How could you possibly do less?
“You know how I’ve been phoning it in?”
Yeah.
“I just got a new app and I think I can literally phone it in this summer. It’s like FaceTime, but for drumming. I can do the whole tour from my backyard.”
Go to the gigs, Billy.
“It’s a hassle. We should do ’em all like this New Year’s bullshit. I got a 20-minute commute! Make all the Deadheads come here.”
You can’t set up a Dead & Company residency on the Big Island of Hawaii.
“Why not?”
Because tickets would be around a thousand bucks apiece once you throw in the flight and hotel.
…
“And what’s the problem?”
It’s a lot of money!
“I’m worth it!”
Billy, we’re heading into a recession and D&C is juuuuuuust about selling out the venues it plays now at a tenth the sticker price.
“Fake news.”
Just stay on the horse, man. Don’t rock the boat. Any other resolutions?
“I’m gonna write a spec horror screenplay about a world invaded by demonic smells and every time you leave the house you have to plug up your nose.”
Very timely. What’s it called?
“Stinky Terror.”
Sold.
Recent Comments