Across The Lazy River

What is this?

“River life, Ass! Floatin’ and fuckin’!”

You’re an impressively single-minded man.

“I feel I owe it to the skank. And there’s nothing but skank on rivers. Lotta chicks in canoes trying to figure their lives out. Kind of a ‘Paddle, Pray, Love’ situation. So I give ’em the ol’ whitewater.”

Ew.

“It ain’t water.”

I know. That’s why I said “Ew.”

“Sometimes, I stick it in fish.”

Why?

“Slippery. And then after you fuck it, you can eat it. You’re not allowed to do that with human skank.”

No.

“And you wouldn’t want to. There’s a reason skank is called skank. That meat’s gone bad.”

Why are you like this?

“Cuz no one’s stopped me yet.”

True.