Look at you rocking out.
Just saying hi.
“You said it.”
Baseball, huh? You a baseball guy?
“Why would you assume that?”
Old white guys love them some baseball.
“That is ageist, racist, and sexist.”
“Sure. Ever see that Ken Burns documentary?”
Ten hours of old white people in sweaters talking about Roberto Clemente.
“He was a fan.”
Roberto Clemente was a Deadhead?
“He was at Veneta.”
“Oh, yeah. Remember Naked Pole Guy?”
How could anyone forget him?
“And then he has shorts a couple songs later, right?”
“Who do you think threw him the shorts?”
Roberto Clemente did not throw a pair of jean shorts at Naked Pole Guy.
“Whistled ’em in there, too. Guy had a cannon for an arm. Mickey was supposed to be on the plane with him when it crashed.”
Also not true.
“It was ’72. Mickey didn’t have anything to do. He was gonna tape the natives playing drums. And then fuck some natives. Maybe the same natives, maybe not. Mickey plays it by ear.”
Why wasn’t he on the plane?
“Tried to choke the pilot.”
That sounds right.