Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Bottom Of The Jam, Bassist Is Loaded

Look at you rocking out.


Just saying hi.

“You said it.”

Baseball, huh? You a baseball guy?

“Why would you assume that?”

Old white guys love them some baseball.

“That is ageist, racist, and sexist.”

True, though.

“Sure. Ever see that Ken Burns documentary?”

Ten hours of old white people in sweaters talking about Roberto Clemente.

“He was a fan.”

Roberto Clemente was a Deadhead?

“He was at Veneta.”

Not true.

“Oh, yeah. Remember Naked Pole Guy?”

How could anyone forget him?

“And then he has shorts a couple songs later, right?”


“Who do you think threw him the shorts?”

Roberto Clemente did not throw a pair of jean shorts at Naked Pole Guy.

“Whistled ’em in there, too. Guy had a cannon for an arm. Mickey was supposed to be on the plane with him when it crashed.”

Also not true.

“It was ’72. Mickey didn’t have anything to do. He was gonna tape the natives playing drums. And then fuck some natives. Maybe the same natives, maybe not. Mickey plays it by ear.”

Why wasn’t he on the plane?

“Tried to choke the pilot.”

That sounds right.


  1. I very rarely look at rock stars’ absurd instruments and think “Ooo . . . I wish I had that.”

    But whatever that is Phil is playing there? Ooo . . . I wish I had that!

  2. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    April 3, 2017 at 10:39 am

    Hmm… Phil finally got his solid gold guitar strap.

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