- Three, maybe four bagels.
- Bowl of Lucky Charms.
- Remainder of the Lucky Charms pawed from the box like an animal.
- At least two sleeves of Ritz Crackers.
- One-three slices of pizza. (Somewhere in there.)
- So much rice that a Chinese dude was like, “Bro, that’s too much rice,” and I was like, “You’re in no position to have an opinion on other people’s diets right now, Chinese dude.”
- If those little cups of Jello Pudding are carbs, then they are on this list.
- Half-grown barley yanked from the ground and not even washed.
- Another bagel.
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Shrimp chips from the Asian market I hid from my wife because I didn’t want her to know I went to the Asian market two weeks ago.
Snyder’s gluten free pretzel sticks, because I’m a ‘tard an they’re still nothing but carbs.
That’s a lot of bagels. Push away from the bagel bar.
Plain tortilla chips.