In Case You Had A Rough Day…

…here’s this.

“I’m a pirate now.”

Bobby, what the fuck?

“I, uh, got a letter of marques. Got a stout ship. I’m simply full of grog.”

I repeat: what the fuck?

“I’ve done the whole Rock Star thing. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but I was briefly a cowboy.”

I’m not even gonna argue with you about that.

“And now, uh, I’m gonna do all the other stuff I wanted to do when I was six. Pirate. Center fielder for the Giants. Maybe a knight in shining armor. I figure the cowboy experience will help me with the knight stuff. A horse is a horse.”

What about an astronaut?

“Yeah, they didn’t exist when I was six.”

…

Wow, huh.

“I’m old as fuck.”

Pish-tosh. You’re a proper vintage.

“Tell that to my shoulder.”

Have you come up with a pirate name?

“Deadbeard.”

That’s pretty awesome.

“Oh, yeah.”