Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Jerry Garcia: Not A Jew

In the Comment Section, Corry (whose new illuminations of the Dead’s secret history can be read over at Lost Live Dead) mentions the rumor/gossip/idle speculation that Garcia–who was raised Roman Catholic–was in fact Jewish.

This belief may be plausible, if a bit far-fetched and semantic.

It may shock to you to know this, but Jews occasionally wake up one morning and can’t be Jews anymore. Or they can be Jews, but over there. With this many data points, it can be said that sporadic but intense spasms of societal violence pointed at the Jews is not a bug in humanity, but a feature.

Spain in the 1400’s was  a terrible time to be a Jew, as opposed to the 1300’s, when it was just mostly shitty. First of all, due to the accent, you were Yewish, which just sounds ridiculous. Second, as I mentioned, you couldn’t be a Jew anymore. Many left, and the rest became conversos, which means exactly what it sounds like.

Problem solved, right? Of course not: these are humans we’re talking about. It turned out that even though a Jew might say he was a Christian, he was probably lying because, you know: Jew. Conversos were also known as marranos, except the latter term had a much nastier connotation: a marrano was a secret Jew, simply pretending to be a decent Christian.

As is the usual course of events, people were dragged from their homes and murdered in the streets by their neighbors.

Getting back to Garcia: it is alleged that he is the descendant of one of these conversos or marranos and therefore Jewish. This theory would need about a dozen running starts to approach dumb, for many reasons. I enumerate thusly:

  1. It was 500 years ago.

That’s it. There’s also the questions of identity, ethnicity vs. race vs. religion, “Who is a Jew?”, “Who’s not a Jew?”, “Who’s kind of a Jew?*), etc.

But mostly the 500 years ago thing.

 

*Italians. Italians are kinda Jews. Not the real Italians, the ones from Jersey.

3 Comments

  1. DC Reade

    Mel Brooks widened the franchise some time ago. How can you not know this?

  2. Martin Xavier

    I grew up with tons of Jews in Florida and have tons of Jewish friends.
    I can tell by people’s faces if they are Jewish or not. While many people may roll their eyes – Jews in America blend in and some have names that ring or spell out “Christian” for example, Christopher Mark Robinson, aka Chris Robinson. Doesn’t sound Jewish…but he does look Jewish…and in fact is half Jewish – as with several thousand famous celebrities in the arts and entertainment world, many did not want their identities to be revealed. It makes sense…America up until present day is vastly pro-christian whereby Jews are still a minority factor. Jerry looks like a hasidic Jew and would not surprise me if the entire band has Jewish ties. Phil Lesh, for example…have a friend with the last name – “Leshgold” ….Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, folks. Also, I noticed Phil Lesh celebrates Hanukkah every year (I went to college in the deep south, in the bible belt and don’t know a single Christian that does this)…Also, if you look at the people Phil plays with at his bar in California – they are predominantly Jewish. Gregg Allman, wore the cross everywhere he went. Axl Rose does too…I have never seen any member of the Grateful Dead wear a cross…Bill Kreutzmann….the name Kreutzmann is a Jewish name | Take a look for yourself – http://www.americanlastnames.us/last-names/Jewish/K/K-80.html

    At any rate, it’s not a big deal if they are Jewish but I wish they would come out of the closet and just say so…

  3. ADAM RICE

    The most plausible is converso

Leave a Reply