Jersey Boy

“Y’know, Mickey’s not the only one who knows how to execute a proper Merch Yoink.”

Nice. You and Jackie Greene are singing the anthem tonight, huh?

“Yup. Very exciting. We petitioned for a different song, but they were adamant.”

You didn’t want to sing the Star-Spangled Banner?

“Not especially.”

Why not?

“It’s a shitty song.”

Okay.

“There’s too many damn notes in the melody, and the lyrics are all about blowing people up.”

Morning Dew is about blowing people up.

“Sure, yeah, but the narrator of Morning Dew is upset about it. Whereas the authorial voice from whence the National Anthem issues is gleefully martial.”

Good point.

“But it’s mostly the notes. You gotta start down way lower than you’d imagine, or you run out of vocal range real quick.”

I’ve heard that.

“And, uh, you can’t dance to it.”

Strike three. You ever gonna wear that jersey?

“It will almost certainly be stolen by Monet to be worn as a dress on Instagram.”

Yeah.