Secretary of State Hillary Clinton or Mitt Romney. (Whoever calls back first gets it.)
Secretary of Defense Predator drone with a rainbow flag painted on it.
Attorney General Barr can keep the job. Biden’s known him for 30 years, and thinks he’s a “good egg.”
Secretary of Treasury George Soros.
Secretaries of Agriculture, Interior, Labor, Health & Human Services Ethnics who worked for Raytheon.
Secretary of Transportation Why, Joe’s bitchin’ ’67 Corvette, of course! Who else could it be?
Secretary of Commerce Jeff Bezos. Who knows more about commerce than that guy, right?
Secretary of Education Lesbian with a whistle who thinks America needs to take a lap or two.
Secretary of Energy Emanuel brother to be named later.
Secretary of Housing & Urban Development If he survives the ronus, Ben Carson. If not, Condoleeza Rice.
Secretary of Homeland Security Major and Champ. Just try pulling anything hincky around those two!
Surgeon General Whoever Pfizer sends over.
Director of National Intelligence Ronald Dumsfeld, who is definitely not Donald Rumsfeld in a fake mustache.