- InfoWars.
- Alex Jones.
- Breitbart.
- Fox, mostly but not always.
- Guy at the end of the bar in sweatpants and an ankle monitor.
- Innards of a chicken, if indeed they are arranged in a propitious manner.
- President Trump, unless he is being sarcastic or didn’t mean it. (The president retains the right to retroactively declare he was being sarcastic or didn’t mean it.)
- Wikileaks.
- Reddit.
- Overheard conversations at the gas station.
- Secret messages hidden in the word jumble on the back of a box of Crunch Berries.
- Steven Miller looming over you while you sleep, whispering the good news of America’s transmorphosis to the exalted realms; effervescent shall we be, effervescent shall we be.
- Lenny Dykstra’s Twitter feed.
- Neighbor’s dog.
- 4chan.
- Ouija board.
- Facebook.
- If you see a red, white, and blue parrot, trust that parrot.
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So glad to See Patti Labelle make an appearance here.
Ouija board are the BEST for obtaining the lowdown.
Ouija & LSD!