- Better than China’s.
- WiFi, but just on the U.S. side.
- Maybe a big mural of Trump and Jesus and a gun and Jesus again.
- Difficult to phase or teleport through, in case there is a team of Mexican X-Men. (Bad X-Hombres!)
- Should not topple over if leaned against by fat guy, even if he is very fat.
- Alligators taped to Mexican side.
- So thick that Sir Mix-A-Lot would hit that shit.
- Embedded invisible fence within wall, and we put shock collars on all the Mexicans and also we make the Mexicans pay for their own shock collars.
- Really, really, really mean dogs everywhere.
- Every third sentry tower has a pitching machine cranked up to 90 mph hooked up a Raspberry Pi with pattern recognition software, and if you’re shaped like a Mexican then you get a fastball to the face.
- Put the whole thing on wheels so we can move it a couple feet south every night; in a few years, we’ll be halfway to Durango.
- Moat made out of:
- Lava.
- Used hypodermic needles.
- All the shit from the alligators we taped to the Mexican side.
- Boiling oil. (Estimated cost of keeping a a 2,000 mile-long, 20’x10′ river of oil at 400 degrees: all-the-money-in-the-world a month.)
- C.H.U.D.s
The wall in that pic does not appear to be thirty feet high. Maybe 12 feet tops. And it looks more like a fence than a wall.
Thirty feet was chosen because that is longer than even the longest extension ladder available at hardware chain, Su Casa, which would be about 20 feet. Thus even a giant 7 foot Mexican, standing on the top rung of the longest abvailable extenion ladder, would be barely able to reach the top of a thirty foot wall.
OK, let’s make it forty feet high.
#NOTMYDEADHEADS
Sadly, even amongst we ain’t many.