Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Several Thoughts About A Show I Didn’t Watch One Second Of

Farewell to you, all you fair muddy fuckers.
Farewell to you, all you ladies with boobs.

And to House Broomentush, defending the Kingdom of the North But Not Too North; If You Pass A Lake, You’ve Gone Too Far North. Swing your sword, Lord Dermabond, and kill the guy who played Aquaman. Fangtoe the Magnificent has arrived, and you can learn his language, Doohickey, on several officially-sponsored apps.


Has Prince Thickwad’s arc been complete? Did it live up to your imagined standards? If not, you should burn down the writers’ homes. Make sure their children are inside. This is your right as a teevee viewer. You are owed.


Who here didn’t get raped? Ladies? Ladies, I need you to pay attention. Raise your hands if the show forgot to rape you. We’ll get to it for the web-exclusive bonus scenes.


Hearken unto me, my cadre! Take my banner up, Darys the Unwiped! Lead my legions against the Westside Boojums, Carbunc the Fungible! Where are those giant fuckin’ dogs? Giant fuckin’ dogs for everyone!


Perhaps the true game of thrones were the thrones we made along the way? Or Battleship. Maybe that’s the game they’re talking about.


If I were the producer of the show, and saw that a million pukefaces had a little petition concerning how bad they thought the show was, I would’ve lost it and replaced the last episode with an hour of Mookie Wilson demonstrating proper sliding technique.


Why the fuck wasn’t Mookie Wilson on Game of Thrones? There’s not a House that wouldn’t have benefited from that man’s hustle and attitude.


I am now starting a petition to digitally insert Mookie Wilson into old episodes of GoT.

You exhausted your interest in the topic, huh?

I never any interest. Been free-balling for the past 300 words.

Only 300? Seems much longer.

That’s only because it wasn’t funny or well-written.

Yeah, that’s it.


  1. andrewflack

    Long live Mookie and his center field shuffle…

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    I love Dr. Kildare. He was a good shitheel in Petulia too.

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