Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

A Dialogue That Goes As Poorly As The Performance That Inspired It

Hey, Paul Simon. Whatcha doing?

“Suffering! Honestly? I’m suffering. No Jew in history has ever suffered as much as me.”

You sure you don’t wanna amend that statement?

“No. Fuck Anne Frank. Let her sue me.”

What’s your problem?

“He doesn’t know the song!”

The Boxer.

“Yeah. I asked him Bob, do you know the song? and he said Sure, uh-huh, gotcha.

Ah. That’s how Bobby answers every question. Usually, though, Matt Busch follows up a few minutes later and gets him out of whatever he just agreed to.

“You knew what he sang? In the clearing stands the Bobber; In his poncho and his beard and then he just started humming. It’s unprofessional.”

Hey, you’re lucky. Bobby has been waaaaay more unprofessional than that.

“Ugh. I never got the whole Grateful Dead thing. Doodley-doodley and all the kids are on drugs. Terrible scene.”

Uh-huh. You sure you’re not just still pissed that Garcia fucked your wife?


Little bit.

“You include me in your little blog again and I’m suing.”

She gave him a beardjob.




  1. Jim Spies

    Love ya TOTD, literally had to put down my phone and laugh for a minute after these last 3 posts. You on game. Thank you!

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    from Artie’s memoirs

  3. dj5000000

    Just doing a little William Safire here. When you a-mend something, you’re a-dding to it. When you e-mend something, you’re e-diting it.

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