This is gonna be a regular thing, huh?

“You have no idea how comfortable kilts are. Loose in the thigh.”


“Calves are free and easy.”

Like a poorly-run cattle ranch.

“Not your best simile.”


“And, uh, as I’ve mentioned–”

Your balls.

“–my balls are swinging. Like London in the 60’s. Although, obviously, the kilt is the garment of those oppressed by London. So, uh, I guess neither of us is doing real good with analogies tonight.”

Some people on the internet are saying that you wore the kilt in honor of Hunter.

“That young man’s caught up in some shady business.”

Not Hunter Biden, Bobby. Robert Hunter.

“That would make more sense.”


“Hunter loved his kilts. And, uh, his bagpipes. Composed Row Jimmy on ’em. Course, his version was called Blow Jimmy. Jer changed it around a little, because he thought people would get ideas.”

Good call. What did the rest of the band think of your fashion choice?

“Well, Billy called me precisely what you’d imagine he would. Mickey was concerned, though.”


“He thought someone yoinked my pants.”

Makes sense.

“Josh pretended not to like it, but I overheard him and some of his fashion friends talking about where they could order some.”

Also sounds right. What about Oteil and Jeff Chimenti?


Branford and New Brent.

“Ah. Well, here’s the thing: contractually, neither of them are allowed to have opinions.”

Man, Irving Azoff is a canny negotiator.

“Steal your residuals right off your head.”