Sometimes in the middle of songs, Bobby would remember that people paid good money and traveled solid distances to to watch him look as goofy as possible, and he would throw back his blow-dried mane and laugh and then forget the words to Truckin’, and then he would laugh again because people also paid to watch him forget stuff; Bobby had seemingly rolled a 300 game in the bowling alley of life.
Things Phil’s Outfit Is Appropriate For:
- Carpool.
- Little league coach.
- Trying to figure out what a Meek Mill is.
- Puns.
- Secret meth-and-barebacking sessions with low-end gay escorts.
- Bringing the car in for an oil change.
- Imperceptibly slipping into insanity, chasing family into hedge maze with axe.
- Bring home the bacon.
- Lighting up the grill.
- Cleaning out the gutters.
- Working on his fantasy football team.
- Not noticing the neighbor’s daughter.
- Something garage-related.
You’ve struck blogging gold, Mr. TotD. This is it. The peak of your posts. The epitome of solid delivery.
Exactly what I’ve always wanted: A DAD POST.
Daddy issues. Explains everything.
one time when I was in middle school I convinced this boy that my dad was moving to Thailand and that I was really distraught and upset just to get his attention
it actually worked, too
Stage 5 Maggie, stage 5
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stage+155
While searching stage 5, I came across this, and thought it appropriate for this dad post.
But otherwise, it’s not appropriate and I should not be thinking of nor discussing these things no matter how awesomely funny they are and I definitely should not be reading this blog, either.
… I had to look that up. Nice, Spencer.
Ironically, when my dad was in fifth grade, he convinced the girl seated next to him that he was moving to Idaho and she flipped out because she liked him. He didn’t even like her, he was just being mean.
Exactly in that order, and in exactly that order. Probably in that order exactly, as well.
SNAKE SHIRT