Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

School Daze

TotD has been banned from any and all academic conferences concerning the Grateful Dead. I was already on probation after summoning Abbadon the Unforgiving to the Marriott ballroom a few years ago, so the kidnapping of David Lestellablieux was not seen in the humorous manner it was intended.

(It’s rather easy to kidnap a Canadian. Saying “Come with me: I’m kidnapping you,” in a stern voice almost always works. They’ll stay put until you release them or they get shot in a botched rescue attempt.)

But I needed access! How else to hear the presentation of such papers as “Calliope Wail: A Second Look at TC” or “The Work of Man: A Queer Reading of the Weather Report Suite” or “Mirror Shatters: The Intersectionality of the Dead, Size-ism, and Body-Positivism?”

Luckily, the Museum of Modern Terrible Dead Art (Mom: ta-DAA!) had agreed to loan the Conference one of their most terrible pieces:


I came up with a brilliant plan: I would secret myself within the statue of a ‘Squatch dressed like Garcia. Then I would–under cover of darkness while the academics slept with one another–sneak out of my hiding place. It was such a good plan, I couldn’t understand why no one had tried it before.

What underhanded plots did I ferret out? What nasty secrets did I dig up?


You never continue stuff, though.

I will this time.



PS Thanks for the pic go out to a person who lives nowhere near Seattle, Mr. Completely.


  1. I pose before t-shirts

    November 17, 2014 at 8:51 am

    Go to slide 4 in the slideshow below. Cathryn Bales? That’s Billy in makeup and drag, right?

    And slide 5. Did you you know the plural of “poster artist” is “posters artists”? It’s kind of like “sergeants-at-arms” or “mothers-in-law” only it doesn’t make sense.

  2. Ha! I would set the morning line at 99-1, 20-1, 12-1 and 1-9. No place and show wagering available.

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