- Jaime Torres, a Hispanic for Trump.
- Mookie Carter, a Black for Trump.
- Elliothimr, a Dark Elf for Trump.
- Injured Servicemember. (“Not the face. Nothing wrong with the face, okay? Missing an arm is good. No face, because the cameras cut to him and no one wants to see that, and Melania doesn’t like looking at that sort of thing.”)
- The Mooch.
- Boris the Hungry Spider.
- Wally Walters, who is being teased at his high school because of his name, and that’s Nancy Pelosi’s fault.
- James Woods, who lights a cigar and then gets in a fistfight with the cop who tells him to put it out; screams “You can’t tase me, I’m James Woods;” is tased. (The President and the Republican members of the Congress cheer on the scuffle. There is wagering.)
- A guy who Junior plays Call of Duty with online that goes by Pussyfarter and refuses to give the Secret Service his identification.
- At least two life-like androids being piloted from within their chests by super-intelligent possums.
- Dracula.
- Not a dracula.
- The Dracula.
- In his evening dress with the big medal and the cape, the whole shmear.
- Cackling and nodding and occasionally shouting “FEED ME BLOOD.”
- Melania’s parents, Tuvt and Moof.
- Allen and Amy Feldman from Boca Raton, members of Mar-A-Lago and winners of the “Attend the SOTU” raffle.
- Dick Dastardly and Muttley.
- Tobin and Squee.
- A pork chop that can start fires with its mind.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
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i haven’t seen squee in ages!
Tobin’s bringing the beer bong.
Hold me down, put on a pillow on my face, and a hand up my swimsuit, did you say Squee is coming!?
The corpse of Bram Stoker would fit in nicely.
When Don Jr. saw “pork chop,” he was overcome with joy that Daddy finally remembered to invite him to something. Then someone pointed out that this reference was to a pork chop with an actual skill …
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnHw_1h0-fE