Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Stop This Shit, Peter Shapiro

Garcia’s briefcase isn’t the only attraction we’ve brought with us! Come on down to Garcia’s at the Cap™ Forest and see more of our collection! We have:

  • Montgomery Clift’s windshield!
  • Natalie Woods’ life preserver!
  • One pair baby shoes, never worn (from Sharon Tate)!
  • The pickle that accompanied Mama Cass’ ham sandwich!
  • Book on knot-tying that belonged to Michael Hutchence!
  • Gram Parson’s skeleton!

That’s right! Garcia’s at the Cap™ has the the bones of legendary country/rock musician Gram Parsons! His friends stole his body and buried him in the desert, and then we dug him up and mounted him! For you to look at while you drink $11 beers!

Garcia’s at the Cap™! Come on down!


That was where he kept his death. He carried his death around, and took out a little bit at a time. That briefcase was where he kept his death.*

And you hung it on the wall like a trophy.



* Garcia kept all of his death in there. The narcotics, obviously, but you know he also had his Camels and some cookies in there.


  1. Mike

    Pall Malls… you knew that.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      I do not know that. I believe Garcia’s brand is up for debate.

    • Morning Deuce

      Two things can be equally true.

      • Mike

        My bad; I thought he’d be more brand loyal. I watched him shake one loose from the maroon-red soft pack at least a few times in the 89-9x era. Something else to watch for in the videos.

        Can we agree that it would be very Garcia to give up Camel spitters for Pall Malls as the latter were king-size and not shorts… We’re talking an extra 14mm of death/butt. Seems like something St. Jerome would invest in.

  2. ChadB

    If it counts for anything, in the 90’s i saw him with Marlboro reds, on stage that was.

  3. dj5000000

    Gram Parsons’ friends did not bury his body in the desert. They doused it in gasoline and threw a book of matches on it. The family buried the remains somewhere else.

    His skeleton would still be at Lockn’, tho.

  4. BobB

    Celebrity Autopsy, yeah ! Cass Elliot and G Parson’s both recent subjects.

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