Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Suggestions For Debate Moderators From The Trump Campaign

The Trump campaign is asking the Commission on Presidential Debates to move up the last presidential debate to the first week in September to get ahead of an expected surge in early voting.

Driving the news: President Trump’s personal attorney, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, made the request in a letter dated Wednesday and obtained by Axios.

What to watch: The letter also includes a list of suggested moderators — including Bret Baier and Hugh Hewitt — and asks the commission to solidify backup plans for “a simple studio format with no audience” for presidential and vice presidential debates in case of further coronavirus complications. – Axios, 8/5/20

  • Four or five of Steve Bannon’s shirts.
  • Maybe a girl can do it, but only if she’s got a hot rack and she’s not gonna get nasty.
  • The Midnight Cowboy himself, Jon Voight!
  • Some straws can moderate debates. Not a lot of people know that, but some straws are geniuses. Only the bendy, obviously. Smart straws!
  • Mike Love.
  • Let Don Junior do it.
  • A black? Is there a black that can do it? Some straws can, but I don’t know about the blacks. When you think “debate moderating,” you don’t think of a black. I gotta be honest here. You don’t think of a black. Wait, what about Reggie Jackson? He could do it. Bright guy, Reggie. See if he’s still alive, and have him moderate the debates. Solved. Bing ding dong.
  • Touch-‘Em Monkeys. Jared told me all about them. They’re monkeys, but you can train them to grab a guy’s nuts and squeeze real hard. Wouldn’t that be great? We’re halfway through the debate, and I give the the Touch-‘Em Monkey the high sign, and he squeezes Sleepy Joe’s balls. That’s good teevee!
  • The MyPillow guy.
  • Whoever he is, he’s not gonna be wearing a mask like a homo.


  1. MJK

    My recommendation for TOtD for today is Muddy Waters, ‘The Living Legends of Blues.’. Live show from 1980 I believe. Jerry Portnoy on harp, Pinetop Perkins on piano.

  2. MJK

    And McKinley Morganfield on guitar and vocals.

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