GOP:
- Basketball Head.
- John Kasich.
- Mormon To-Be-Named Later.
- Crazy Black Guy.
- Backbench state legislator who claims he will “Out-Trump the Trump” and gets arrested for beating up a hooker three months into his campaign.
DEMOCRATS:
- Uncle Joe.
- Commie Grandpa.
- Several Agony Aunts.
- That guy from Ohio who rolls up his sleeves.
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ Twitter feed.
- Beto!
- Julian and Joaquin Castro running together like in Dead Ringers.
- Hillary. (She’s tanned, rested, and ready.)
LIBERTARIANS:
- Some doofus
GREENS:
- Oleg Deripskaya.
INDEPENDENTS:
- Rich Asshole.
- Nasal Asshole.
- One-Topic Asshole.
- Second Rich Asshole.
- Lyndon LaRouche.
Wally?
HBH?
Roy Head
I’m starting a political movement to “Draft Precarious.”
Precarious Lee for President?
The absolute bushness of the league our country is currently in, I don’t know who is better qualified than an ex Grateful Dead roadie.
Precarious Lee 2020.