PRO: Undeniably funny.
CON: Generally considered a crime.
PRO: Depending on the meatiness of the dong and the fat content of the cheeks, makes a pleasing sound.
CON: Again, this is a crime in every state and all the decent countries.
PRO: If the penis belongs to Queen Elizabeth, then you become a Knight.
CON: If the penis has a Prince Albert, and the recipient has a nasal piercing, then that could become a scene from a Farrelly Brothers movie.
PRO: If wang is fat and mighty, could break someone’s nose.
CON: If wang is skinny and pointed, could put someone’s eye out.
PRO: Onlookers may see the act and say, “Wow, great idea,” and now you’re at an old-fashioned Delaware Dickslap.
CON: Most likely, they will not.
PRO: If you miss, your friends will make fun of you.
CON: I cannot overstate how illegal this is unless you have express written consent.
I love America again. Thanks to this dick thwapping thing? Oh and the raccoon.
We are exceptional, we are individuals and self-made creative creatures.
God Bless us.
If you ever find yourself amidst a Delaware Dickslap, the best you can hope for is that it’s an old-fashioned one, with match play all the way through the finals, no shot clock, and of course no rule against going in hard to break up a double play.
As for the newfangled Delaware Dickslap, all I can say is that the media is correct, and the millenials have, indeed, ruined everything.
I guess we should be grateful Billy never got into it.