- You, ya nutsucking fuckmump.
- Your spouse, fourth choice that they were.
- Your kids, disappointments all.
- Your mother, who was and continues to be a hoo-er.
- Your father, who beat you too much or not enough.
- Your brother and all his fucking money.
- Your sister, who gives it up to those graffiti boys.
- Your pets, who will not be taught.
- All the new people doing the Muppets’ voices, because those aren’t the fucking Muppets’ voices.
- Anyone who gives a shit about the NFL draft.
- The entire NFL.
- Surviving members of the AFL.
- Anyone who has disagreed with me on Twitter, even mildly.
- You, again, just to be sure.
This stops now.
BUT I CRAVE THE DEATH OF OTHERS!
You shouldn’t.
Show me where it says that in the Bible.
On, like, every page. It’s one of the major themes of the book.
Reading is gay.
Gonna be one of those nights, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Give me liberty or give me bleach
I’d paint three of those murals for some of that ass.
Go watch the Beastie Boys Story TotD. One week free trial on Apple TV
I drink Comet even though it makes my mouth turn green